So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
