I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize