let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
