she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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