do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
