No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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