So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
