i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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