new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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