just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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