I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
