I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
