Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
