I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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