One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
