And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
