i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
