You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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