Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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