Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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