just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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