great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
