Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
