if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
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