I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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