am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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