well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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