Nicole vs. Life
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
