$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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