Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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