Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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