Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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