Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
