I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
