Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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