apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
