And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
