i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
