Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
