I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
