If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
