hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
