We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When are your genitals available?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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