If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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