I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize