chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
True strength comes from lack of pants
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize