Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
