the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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