...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
