i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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