Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Small penises have feelings too.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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