I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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