so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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