they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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