apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I forgot wine drunk hurts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
