she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
