youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
