That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
