I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
