so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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