just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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