Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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