Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
