I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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