i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize