friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
